Apartment Hunting

​When I read that an apartment has been "renovated", I assume someone died in there and no amount of sage smudging could remove the odor and/or ghost. Other things I have learned from the San Diego Craigslist real estate ads:
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North Park = City Heights
Small bonus room = closet
Quite = quiet
Onstreet parking available = zero parking
Ample street parking = zero parking
Close to public transportation = zero parking
Charming/ cute = a joke
Great for someone with a minimalist lifestyle = perfect for a monk who is, you know, between monasteries...