At the laundromat: "Well, looks like it's just me, you, and the unabridged story behind why you're washing your dog bed."
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"My hobbies are yakback riding and Justin Bieber!" - every Tibetan tween
The symbol for CAN'T LET GO is the limp unlit Christmas tree in Panda Express whose sole ornament is a broken plastic fork
Swapped my sunglasses for contacts so now I'm really cool for up to 18 hours per day and no one can tell! UNDER COVER COOL
If anyone needs help moving I know this guy who's a giant ant.
It's weird. You hit your 30's and all of a sudden you have an imaginary Puerto Rican baby named Quinoa.
If anyone invites me to a Halloween party at their storage unit, I'm there. Guaranteed to be super creepy with actual jars of eyeballs.
If anyone out there is writing a limerick about Dracula visiting the chiropractor after auditioning for a sci fi tv mini series, I have two words for you: scapula and Scott Bakula.
For the last time: Thurston is the name of my Brita pitcher, and Preston is the name of my doorbell!
The car of my dreams used to be a Porsche. Now it's a fully loaded taco truck that serves breakfast until noon.
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AuthorMy name is Nasreen Yazdani. Archives
February 2022
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