How to do dishes like a lady

​Some people do dishes responsibly, bit by bit, keeping up with the task throughout the day. Me, I wait until I can't access the faucet without getting old ketchup stuck in my arm hair. When I can't take it anymore, I grab the dishwashing soap with both hands, flip it upside down, and shoot it all over the sink in crazed zig zags like lighter fluid. Then I turn on the faucet full blast and SET THE WHOLE THING ON FIRE, if you know what I mean.