Why squirrels make bad politicians

I would be more comfortable with the squirrel who lives in my yard if he looked less guilty all the time. Whenever I see him he's nervously skittering off with awkwardly stuffed cheeks. I'm not saying he's smuggling illicit substances but he reminds me of a rascal politician and I wouldn't be surprised to flip on CSPAN and find him being grilled in senate investigation hearings.
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The neighborhood tomcat has probably committed worse crimes, but he makes no apologies. Every time I find him manspreading on my porch, languidly fondling a decapitated mouse, I think, "You, my dear, could have a successful career in politics."

Image: www.flickr.com/photos/gillesgonthier/476901520