I would be more comfortable with the squirrel who lives in my yard if he looked less guilty all the time. Whenever I see him he's nervously skittering off with awkwardly stuffed cheeks. I'm not saying he's smuggling illicit substances but he reminds me of a rascal politician and I wouldn't be surprised to flip on CSPAN and find him being grilled in senate investigation hearings.
The neighborhood tomcat has probably committed worse crimes, but he makes no apologies. Every time I find him manspreading on my porch, languidly fondling a decapitated mouse, I think, "You, my dear, could have a successful career in politics."
My name is Nasreen. I write micro essays, one-liners, and other small things. Most of them were funny at some point, at least to me.