I mainly watch television to fill voids. For example, in my actual life no one ever gets a turkey stuck on their head.
It's hard to take myself seriously when I'm gargling. Unless I play Eye of the Tiger in the background. GAME CHANGER.
Denny's should market that neutered classic rock they play all the time. It would be a hit with anemics!
And the award for least effective cover art goes to "Black Scientists" for a throng of people top to bottom who are neither black nor scientists.
Butter lettuce. Butter beans. Nice foods, nothing to do with butter. This is what happens when you let Paula Deen name the vegetables
The next generation of mass murderers are already signing their letters home from summer camp "rgds."
Life is a long dream. On St. Patrick's Day we all pinch each other and wake up. We eat a few cupcakes, get our shamrock on, and go back to sleep for another year.
Making a modern day version of The Notebook where they reunite 14 years later after he accidentally sends her spam from his Hotmail account.
Spiderwoman ravages the metaphysical books section. An obscure tome on astrology goes missing from the top shelf.
I have been gifted a box of See's chocolates and I can't figure out which of these little bastards contains nougat. I almost called the Sees Crisis Hotline, I mean customer service number, but I'm in my 30's and I feel like I should be able to handle this.
My name is Nasreen. I write micro essays, one-liners, and other small things. Most of them were funny at some point, at least to me.