nasreen yazdani
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Urban prose

11/24/2016

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​If your prose is not urban enough try copying and pasting into a Word Up document. Works for me, peeps.
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Haircut

11/23/2016

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​The lady in the oversized football jersey who cut my hair today repeatedly speared my ear with the comb as if she were trying to slide it onto a skewer to make a delicious ear kabob. I kept picturing a bucket of other customers' ears marinating in a mini fridge in the back room and it made me uneasy. So imagine my relief when she explained that she was just overexcited because her son is turning 18 on Wednesday and now he can finally go on cigarette runs for her! Faith in humanity: restored.
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Pedicure

11/22/2016

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​Sometimes when people get fancy pedicures with flower designs their toes look like beautiful little bathroom tiles.
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Crow

11/21/2016

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​My mother just texted me: "4:25 p.m. A crow flew past me with a bright orange Cheeto in his beak."  We believe the symbolic interpretation may be along the lines of DECLINE AND FALL OF WESTERN CIVILIZATION.
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Parrot

11/18/2016

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​Nothing surprises me at the laundromat anymore. This is Abby. She's 26, infertile, and likes the crispy part of KFC chicken. She jumped on me the minute I told her she was pretty, then got bored and ate a People Magazine.  
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Produce

11/11/2016

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​Can we get a mammogram in the produce aisle?
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Intern

11/11/2016

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​Seeking an intern with a background in Archeology to manage my freezer. Must have a strong stomach and ability to make executive decisions at subzero temperatures. Compensation: Novelty Christmas ice cream from 2016.
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Ice Cream

11/9/2016

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​Cashier: Would you like a plastic spoon for that giant tub of ice cream?
Me: No thanks. Why?
Cashier: So you can start eating it in the car. 
Me: No, I'm all set. 
 Cashier: How far away do you live?
Me: I'm not going to eat it in the car! And if I did, I wouldn't need a spoon. I would just rip the lid off and rub it all over my face.
Cashier: Ok ma'am. (Silently puts three spoons in the bag.)
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Wayne's World

11/1/2016

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​Welcome to Wayne's World Pumpkin Patch, run by a guy named Shane. As far as I can tell, they are open 24 hrs. It's a casual operation. Tomorrow Shane is bringing in a bouncy house and he will be in there all night if any ladies care to join him. You can also take a selfie with this mummy in a one-eyed skull codpiece...
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    Author

    My name is Nasreen Yazdani.   I used to write micro essays, one-liners, and other small, lighthearted things. Most of them were funny.  

    Now I'm working on a book of stories.  The emotional range is... wilder.   

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