I wrote to the New York Times about my love life. Enjoy!
How Do You Know When It's Time to Break Up?
Then: Ten goats, three cows, fine silver, and a nice carpet
Now: One (1) Vitamix
Seasons can be subtle in San Diego, but if you look closely you may notice the smoothie garnishes change from lemon to fuyu persimmon.
If this pie tastes good just know that I fixed a tire and cut my finger while making it, so there are at least two secret ingredients.
I recently scored this personal marquee sign on deep discount. Shopportunity! I thought I could write myself affirmations or inspirational quotes. Turns out, nothing I want to say is simple. Not enough letters, not enough space. Not enough dots to make ellipses— no way to even hint at what is missing, so thoughts hurtle over a jagged edge of unfinished words or devolve almost immediately into nonsense.
But there’s a semicolon. You know, in case I finagle two clauses and need to connect them. This is how it looked before the batteries exploded.
My name is Nasreen. I write micro essays, one-liners, and other small things. Most of them were funny at some point, at least to me.