This clever toy lets you build a replica of traditional buildings from different parts of the world. You can make St. Mark's Campanile from Italy or Lukang Station from Taiwan or a Korean Kimchi House! And then there's the U.S........
Last night I searched Youtube for women’s tutorials on how to do a pull-up . The good news is that there seems to be a consensus: 5 simple/agonizing steps and you’re golden in about two months. But then I got busy puttering around the house and left Youtube to do its thing, to take me into its psychedelic rabbit hole of auto-play while I blew soap bubbles at the dishes.
We cycled through several distinct sets of videos:
There were shouty ones about How To Get Ripped Fast (Go to the gym and get your nutrition right, bro! Rooooaaaar!), and then a strange set of either inspirational montages of buff women working out or softcore porn (sometimes the music would cut out for minutes at a time and the women would just be there silently squatting with barbells, looking over their shoulders at the camera, which I believe is not the recommended posture when you are weightlifting). And finally, the self-help gurus pontificating on how to pick up women at the gym.
By this time, my black beans were boiled, laundry sorted, and I was ready to put Youtube to bed. But it got me thinking, have we come full circle?
So all these women want to do pullups and all these men want to pick women up. There should be a win-win somewhere around here... Or maybe not. In the meantime, at least we have a consensus: a woman’s place is at the top.
No wonder Americans are on edge. We've all been marooned on a weird 5-year-long edition of Iron Chef where the Secret Ingredient is.... KALE!
"Your giant panini press is broken."
"Stop putting sandwiches in the copy machine, Dave!"
Top 2,000 beauty products with a cult following on Amazon:
#1,999: Nostril Bedazzler
#2,000: Arm Hair Scrunchie
BABY'S BREATH (Gypsophila): Tiny, adorable. Commonly used in commercial flower arrangements.
WEIRD UNCLE'S BREATH (Gary): Often described as a cross between alcohol and garlic. Method of reproduction unknown.
CARNATION (Dianthus caryophyllus): National flower of Spain, Monaco, and Slovenia. Comes in decent colors. Solid B+.
DATE NIGHT TUXEDO (Weigela) . Prefers ultra low-light conditions with minimal parental supervision; blooms once a year on prom night. Thrives in moist “clammy” soil. Fertliize regularly with Aqua Velva. See also: Carnation.
FORGET-ME-NOT (Myosotis scorpioides): Small blue flower found in bogs, ditches, and other creepy wet places. See also: Gollum, Lord of the Rings.
TOUCH-ME-NOT (Impatiens noli-tangere): 2nd most popular baby name in 2017 for girls born in the Washington DC area. See also: Pussy willow.
I need to wallpaper the inside of my fridge. I spend a lot of time in there, alone, silently gazing into the depths and looking for... what?
Anyway, I think it's a bit overkill that the white walls and fluorescent lights make it look like an actual insane asylum.
My name is Nasreen. I write micro essays, one-liners, and other small things. Most of them were funny at some point, at least to me.