nasreen yazdani
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New slippers!

8/31/2017

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​Mermaid piggies? Dragons? 
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Traditional Buildings in the U.S.

8/29/2017

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​This clever toy lets you build a replica of traditional buildings from different parts of the world. You can make St. Mark's Campanile from Italy or Lukang Station from Taiwan or a Korean Kimchi House! And then there's the U.S........
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Men and women want different things at the gym... or do they?

8/28/2017

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Last night I searched Youtube for women’s tutorials on how to do a pull-up . The good news is that there seems to be a consensus: 5 simple/agonizing steps and you’re golden in about two months. But then I got busy puttering around the house and left Youtube to do its thing, to take me into its psychedelic rabbit hole of auto-play while I blew soap bubbles at the dishes.

We cycled through several distinct sets of videos:

There were shouty ones about How To Get Ripped Fast (Go to the gym and get your nutrition right, bro! Rooooaaaar!), and then a strange set of either inspirational montages of buff women working out or softcore porn (sometimes the music would cut out for minutes at a time and the women would just be there silently squatting with barbells, looking over their shoulders at the camera, which I believe is not the recommended posture when you are weightlifting). And finally, the self-help gurus pontificating on how to pick up women at the gym.

By this time, my black beans were boiled, laundry sorted, and I was ready to put Youtube to bed. But it got me thinking, have we come full circle?
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  • Advice for Women on How to Do a Pullup
  • Advice from Men on How to Get Ripped
  • Women Lifting Weights (inspirational)
  • How to Pick Up Women at the Gym
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So all these women want to do pullups and all these men want to pick women up. There should be a win-win somewhere around here... Or maybe not. In the meantime, at least we have a consensus: a woman’s place is at the top.
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Image:http://maxpixel.freegreatpicture.com/Gym-Physical-Activity-Training-Fitness-Woman-Run-2610899
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The real reason why Americans are on edge

8/27/2017

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No wonder Americans are on edge.  We've all been marooned on a weird 5-year-long edition of Iron Chef where the Secret Ingredient is.... KALE!
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Stop it, Dave

8/26/2017

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​"Your giant panini press is broken." 
"Stop putting sandwiches in the copy machine, Dave!"
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Beauty products with a cult following

8/26/2017

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Top 2,000 beauty products with a cult following on Amazon:
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#1,999: Nostril Bedazzler
#2,000: Arm Hair Scrunchie
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It's like lion taming, but for pooches

8/24/2017

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​Whatcha doin'? 
Tamin' my pooch.
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Botany for dummies: types of flowers

8/22/2017

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BABY'S BREATH (Gypsophila): Tiny, adorable. Commonly used in commercial flower arrangements.

WEIRD UNCLE'S BREATH (Gary): Often described as a cross between alcohol and garlic. Method of reproduction unknown.

CARNATION (Dianthus caryophyllus): National flower of Spain, Monaco, and Slovenia. Comes in decent colors. Solid B+.

DATE NIGHT TUXEDO (Weigela) . Prefers ultra low-light conditions with minimal parental supervision; blooms once a year on prom night. Thrives in moist “clammy” soil. Fertliize regularly with Aqua Velva. See also: Carnation.

FORGET-ME-NOT (Myosotis scorpioides): Small blue flower found in bogs, ditches, and other creepy wet places.  See also:  Gollum, Lord of the Rings.
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TOUCH-ME-NOT (Impatiens noli-tangere): 2nd most popular baby name in 2017 for girls born in the Washington DC area. See also: Pussy willow.
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Greetings from San Diego!

8/20/2017

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Could this picture be any more Southern California?
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1 great reason to wallpaper your fridge

8/20/2017

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I need to wallpaper the inside of my fridge. I spend a lot of time in there, alone, silently gazing into the depths and looking for... what? 
Comfort? 
Answers? 
Pickles?
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Anyway, I think it's a bit overkill that the white walls and fluorescent lights make it look like an actual insane asylum.
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    Author

    My name is Nasreen Yazdani.   I used to write micro essays, one-liners, and other small, lighthearted things. Most of them were funny.  

    Now I'm working on a book of stories.  The emotional range is... wilder.   

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