Haircut

​The lady in the oversized football jersey who cut my hair today repeatedly speared my ear with the comb as if she were trying to slide it onto a skewer to make a delicious ear kabob. I kept picturing a bucket of other customers' ears marinating in a mini fridge in the back room and it made me uneasy. So imagine my relief when she explained that she was just overexcited because her son is turning 18 on Wednesday and now he can finally go on cigarette runs for her! Faith in humanity: restored.