Hotmail

My Hotmail account just received an email from Western Union Malaysia. Apparently I am one of the seven email beneficiaries approved to receive the sum of $1,500,000 from the U.N. Humanitarian Aid/ Poverty Alleviation Program. All I have to do is provide them with my personal information!

Why do I collect antique email accounts? Because, I tell myself, one day they'll be worth a lot. Like, say, $1,500,000. Related: I'm working on a new superhero called Mr. Hotmail. He is up to both elbows in fake Rolexes and can survive for months on nothing but generic Canadian Viagra. He fights crime by hurling fistfuls of spam at the bad guys.

​His sidekick is a Nigerian prince.