Ice Cream

​Cashier: Would you like a plastic spoon for that giant tub of ice cream?
Me: No thanks. Why?
Cashier: So you can start eating it in the car. 
Me: No, I'm all set. 
 Cashier: How far away do you live?
Me: I'm not going to eat it in the car! And if I did, I wouldn't need a spoon. I would just rip the lid off and rub it all over my face.
Cashier: Ok ma'am. (Silently puts three spoons in the bag.)