Blog Posts

Warning: Incoming Applesauce

1/8/2018

There will be applesauce. It will be foisted upon friends, relatives, and neighbors.

I've had this jade plant for five years. It just flowered.

According to Feng Shui, jade is a prosperity magnet. A money plant, if you will. And I'm a believer. A stranger at the laundromat just gave me twelve free minutes on his dryer!

Did I later find an entire clove of garlic in that dryer? Yes. Do my clothes now smell like lavender AND GARLIC? I don't want to talk about it. My point is, it's my lucky day.

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42 Minutes

1/6/2018

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"42 Minutes"- a thriller about that random amount of time left on my laptop battery when everything shuts down without warning.

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Aztec human sacrifice

1/5/2018

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My circus faces toggle between Three Year Old Just Discovered It's Her Birthday and Aztec Human Sacrifice. No middle ground.

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Taco Tuesday

1/5/2018

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Welcome to San Diego. We will literally defy the logic of the Gregorian calendar in order to eat more tacos.

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Deal or no deal?

1/5/2018

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Where? Mars? Manhattan? Who's paying $3.49 for a lemon?

Two things:

Maybe they mean a junky used car. A "lemon". As in, "The Kelley Blue Book Value is $3.49. It's a lemon."
I get it. The grocery store is messing with me, playing with psychology, making me feel like I'm getting a real deal. But if we're playing, let's play. They just should go all out on the receipt: "Lemon- 50 cents. Normally, $1,000,000.50. You saved ONE MILLION DOLLARS. Thank you for shopping at Whole Foods."

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