10. Proves that they are pure socks, nothing added. Just whole sock, straight from the sock tree, the way Mother Nature intended it.
9. Delays inevitable death and decay.
8. In case you don't want to wear the whole seven-pair package at once, the rest can be stored in the freezer for up to two months. Wear as desired. Garnish with shoes.
7. If you live on a houseboat and accidentally drop the package overboard while trying to load your on-deck dresser, the socks will not get wet.
6. Just add a handle and you have a little sock purse that goes wherever you go-- gym, restaurant, bank. Can also be engineered as a fanny pack for a trip to Disneyland. Anyone want a churro? Anyone want a pair of fresh socks?
5. Deters roommates and family members from stealing your socks by forcing them to grapple with tricky ziplock mechanism.
4. When all socks have been worn, package can be reused to pack a sandwich for your favorite middle schooler. They'll love it when their friends ask about the lady on the front wearing ankle socks and an undershirt!
3. Keeps the inside air in and the outside air out. And all is right with the world.
2. Ensures that the last sock worn is just as fresh as the first one. Every time.
And the #1 reason my socks come in a resealable ziplock package.....................
Because Hanes truly cares about me.
Which is more than I can say for General Mills.
(Why isn't the bag inside the cereal box resealable? Can I get an amen??)
My name is Nasreen Yazdani. I used to write micro essays, one-liners, and other small, lighthearted things. Most of them were funny.