1. I'm considering returning a bottle of olive oil because I can't get the cap off.
2. I'm looking to hire a Rubik's Cube genius to untangle one of my necklaces.
3. A rat died violently all over my living room. I put on snow boots and a bad ass apron that says Kiss the Cook and yanked it out by the tail. But first, I considered calling a few people who owe me a favor.
4. I have a very cute jumpsuit that I cannot finish buttoning by myself. And I'm basically a contortionist. So I wear it partially unbuttoned and the first person who stops me on the street to tell me my buttons came undone gets to finish the job.
Other than this, my life is totally under control.
My name is Nasreen. I write micro essays, one-liners, and other small things. Most of them were funny at some point, at least to me.