On my deathbed, I will probably regret all the time I spent trying to figure out whether your online message is incomprehensible because you are using voice-activated text
or because you can't type
or because you can't spell
or because you're referencing some newfangled meme that I'm too old to know about.
Life is short and there are more important things to focus on.
Besides, who are we kidding? The internet is the one place where you don't need to justify the spouting of nonsense. Contrary to popular belief, the official online language is not English. It's Gibberish. Our motto here is show up, open your mouth, and take a bow.
We have lower standards than public pools. Underage? Intoxicated? Active diarrhea of the mouth? Come on in! The water's warm. (It's mostly pee.)
Look, in case this came off as harsh let me just say that I'm right there alongside everyone else, babbling away, enjoying a nice relaxed pee party in cyberspace. It's all good.
My name is Nasreen Yazdani. I used to write micro essays, one-liners, and other small, lighthearted things. Most of them were funny.