I wish it took more than a balsamic glaze to impress me.
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Having experienced my first Thai massage, I assume my masseuse must have been a star student:
Demonic Hair Pulling- A+ Knee to Groin, an Exploration of Pain- A+ Practicum: How to Slap Someone in the Face While Keeping a Straight Face- B Advanced Kneecap Fingering- A Medieval Torture, Similarities- A Yes, I will be going back for more. When my tangerine peel won't come off I have to turn on the charm. "Why so uptight, sugar? Lemme help you outta them jeans."
I'm developing a line of avant-garde cocktails for patio dining:
Thai basil Gogi berry syrup Lime juice Bird poop Cucumber Jalapeño Cilantro Simple syrup Bird poop Rosemary Lavender syrup Lemon juice Bird poop Happy spring! After living in this house for 6 months I just discovered that there's a medicine cabinet behind the bathroom mirror.
Hire me to be your Life Coach! Roastaroma tea smells like the furniture section at Pier 1.
The sound of your slacks crescendoing outside my office door.
Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Soon I will minimize my browser. Sometimes I worry about how my neighbors yell at their children. But then I think about how I treat the office copy machine.
When I read that an apartment has been "renovated", I assume someone died in there and no amount of sage smudging could remove the odor and/or ghost. Other things I have learned from the San Diego Craigslist real estate ads:
North Park = City Heights Small bonus room = closet Quite = quiet Onstreet parking available = zero parking Ample street parking = zero parking Close to public transportation = zero parking Charming/ cute = a joke Great for someone with a minimalist lifestyle = perfect for a monk who is, you know, between monasteries... Once in a blue moon, I find myself at a grocery store in the middle of the day during the work week, and a strange feeling washes over me. I gaze at the shoppers to my right and left, dangle my forearms over my shopping cart handlebar, and think to myself,
"Ah. So these are the Day People." |
AuthorMy name is Nasreen Yazdani. Archives
February 2022
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