A lesson learned from my time in Midwestern grocery stores: Don't block the barbecue sauce unless you want a hungry cowboy breathing down your neck. Same goes for the baked beans, although it's harder to block all those cans at once. You would have to wear a big poofy dress, tease your hair, put your hands on your hips, arch your back, drape yourself over a strategically placed shopping cart...
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A young Pop-Tart cannot survive more than 5 minutes after being released from its protective shell in the vending machine. Researchers suggest you stuff it in your purse or eat it immediately. Image: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Pop-Tarts_Frosted_Strawberry.jpg
No matter what I type into Google Images, the answer is always "assorted ladies in bikinis".
It warms my heart to know that despite the significant cultural and ideological variances among the people of Asia, in the end they all celebrate with Oriental Party Mix. Image:www.publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=1455&picture=rice-crackers
The Hallmark Channel presents "Valentine's Day with Dick and Jane"-- Dick: Hi Jane. I got you a present-- commemorative bookends reenacting the trash compactor scene from Star Wars. Look! I'm Han Solo. Jane: Am I Princess Leia? Dick: No, she represents the feminine part of my psyche. You're the trash compactor. By the way, I'm feeling suffocated in this relationship. Jane: Thanks. I got you a Vermont Teddy Bear. Image: https://www.flickr.com/photos/mlemos/4129267310
"Son, all the little boys in Italy can't become professional chefs and soccer players. But if you work hard and treat people right, you might hit it big in America and get an apartment floorplan named after you."
A Twinkie
sliced sharply on the diagonal. Voila! Upward mobility. Off to dreamland! Hello hybrid celebrities and wordless shouting!
I passed a rotating cement truck on the way to work and now all I want to do is rub my stomach and pat my head.
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AuthorMy name is Nasreen Yazdani. Archives
February 2022
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